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Woman Is the Torment of Man

from "Rule of Thumb" by Sean Smith

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Found the words to this whiner of a song on a website of old broadsides and street ballads from the British Isles – in this case, Scotland. I adapted a barn dance from County Kerry for the melody. Obligatory disclaimer: The views expressed in the song are not those of the person singing it, etc.

lyrics

You single men I pray
Come listen to me lay
And I'll tell to you the truth if I can
And you bide what do I say
If attention that you pay
A woman is the plague upon the man

When for breakfast you arrive
Light the fire you must strive
And wash every pot and every pan
How I wish that I was dead
Since the day that I was wed
A woman is the plague upon the man

CH: Oh the poor man's toil is never done
For to keep his family decent if he can
But when you take a wife
You wed yourself to strife
A woman is the torment of a man

But only see them when they're young
For they speak with angel's tongues
To trap you they will try all they can
And once the wedding's past
Why, that's when they have you fast
A woman is the heartbreak of a man

For to a neighbor's house she'll roam
And never stay at home
Clashing and back-biting is her plan
Thus tortured is the man
Who would join in wedlock's band
A woman is the heart of a man

CH

And if you chance to speak
Why your head she'll surely break
With the first thing that she gets into her hand
With a beedle or a ladle
She'll club you ere she's able
And this is the comfort of a man

And for drink I do declare
She will strip the house quite bare
Blankets, sheets, pots and kettle she will pawn
And morning, noon and night
She will rage and scold and fight
And this is the comfort of a man

CH

Well I think that it is time
To conclude my little rhyme
And women, I would have you understand
There is nothing through your life
Like a kind and gentle wife
To provide for the comfort of a man

So let's be kind unto our wives
And lead contented lives
And strive to keep them happy
Through our life
For I'd have you understand
That happy is the man
That's blessed with a decent sober wife

CH

credits

from "Rule of Thumb", released November 6, 2017

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Sean T. Smith Boston, Massachusetts

Sean Smith has been playing folk music since his teens, with a focus on the traditions of Ireland, Scotland and England in particular. He's been active in the Greater Boston music scene since the early '80s, and been part of numerous collaborations. He also writes about music for BostonIrish.com, helps organize an annual Celtic music festival, and has been known to drink Ballantine Ale. ... more

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